at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
