Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize