Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
