Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
