Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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