Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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