Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
