JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
