I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
