How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
