He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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