he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
