i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
