Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
