The maid of honor just puked.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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