One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
