she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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