I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
