I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
