thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
