I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize