As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
