Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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