You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
