I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
