I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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