Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
