Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
