just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Alive.
So much puke
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize