His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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