Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She's just so happy...and so naked.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
