Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
