Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
