Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
