I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize