i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
they need to just BURY HIM!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
