The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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