And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
