Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
