You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
