i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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