this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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