fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize