I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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