I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
