dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
4 words: hood of his car
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
