i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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