I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
