Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
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