On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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