DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
