He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
