fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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