She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
