Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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