Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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