there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
