Whatcha textin bout Willis?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
