I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
