i was born a porn star she said
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
