gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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