My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
