I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
