everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
