so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
