Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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