it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
