He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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