you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
