you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
