i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize