brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
