I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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