I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
