Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
