Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
