I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
